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Sex and aging
Do the good times stop after middle age?
Ask yourself and others at what age you think people retire from sex. Without a
doubt, answers will range from "some time after 50" to "when you are dead." Most
people, however, can't or don't want to think of older folks having sex.
But, in fact, they do. A recent study published in the
New England Journal of Medicine gives us the facts about what's going on
between the sheets with American seniors. Researchers interviewed 1,550 women
and 1,455 men ages 57 to 85 years and they defined sex or sexual activity as
"any mutually voluntary activity with another person that involves sexual
contact, whether or not intercourse or orgasm occurs." If people were sexually
active, they were asked about what type of sexual activity they engaged in.
Plenty of men and women keep on having sex in later years:
•3 in 4 people between 57-64 years old
•2 in 4 people between 65-74 years old
•1 in 4 people between 75-85 years old
These numbers are not surprising, especially considering the fact that baby
boomers are now going into retirement. This generation surely will not want to
give up on having satisfying sex lives. Viagra arrived just at the right time.
I hope that studies like this will help put to rest the notion that an older man
who's still interested in sex is a "dirty old man." Note that a similarly
negative label for women does not even exist (thankfully). This is not due to
increased open-mindedness or awareness when it comes to women's sexualities, but
due to plain ignorance. Most people—except for seniors who know better—cannot
imagine that older folks might continue to be interested in sex well after
midlife.
Of course not everyone wants to continue having sex. Plenty of middle-aged and
even younger individuals declare that they would be "fine never having sex
again." O.K. with me. I completely accept that some people, for whatever reason,
choose not to be sexually active. Whether to have sex or not should always be a
choice—at any time in your life.
So, other than actual intercourse, what are seniors up to? In the NEJM study,
about 50 percent of people between 57-75 years old had oral sex (giving or
receiving) in the past 12 months. That number dropped to about 33 percent for
people between 75-85 years old. Masturbation also continues to be a common
practice for men and women of all ages, even though men are about twice as
likely as women to pleasure themselves.
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For those of you who are older and who continue to be sexually active, I have a
piece of important advice. Be sure to use condoms and safer sex techniques (keep
an eye out for those in my next column) when you're with a new partner.
According to a recent study, in 32 states with confidential name-based HIV
reporting 14 percent of new HIV/AIDS cases occurred in people age 50 years and
older.
Only 38 percent of men and 22 percent of women in the NEJM study reported having
discussed sex with a physician since the age of 50 years. Don't be shy to bring
up the subject with your health provider. In the late '90s, former senator Bob
Dole created headlines when he openly encouraged men to speak to their doctors
about erectile dysfunction. Today, this has become a much less taboo subject to
discuss. Sex at old age is not shameful or wrong; it's part of a healthy and
fulfilling life.
Sex Files
Reprinted from C-Ville Weekly
11/20/2007-11/26/2007
